Somewhere in Midgar, Philadelphia
by MyNotLife
Summary: Follow young and innocent Cloud and his friends Reno and Tifa as they attempt enjoy their young lives, even though Cloud has an alcoholic delusional foster father, and a porn addicted foster brother he makes the most of what he has. Crack Fiction.


It was a bright sunny day in a small town known as Midgar, located on the country side of the continent of Philadelphia. Young Cloud was on his way to school, accompanied by his older foster brother Vincent. Cloud was headed to Gainsborough Academy where he was in Mr. T's first grade class. Vincent on the other hand was a high school student who usually ditched school and spent his days at the XXX store.

"Vincent, who is Rochelle?" The innocent child asked looking up at the teen, the amount of angst in the air suddenly increased.

"Shut up" Vincent replied in his usual low raspy tone.

"Hey white boy!" A familiar voice called in the distance, the song One Winged Angel began playing becoming louder as the footsteps neared. Cloud looked around unsure of where the music was coming from when he caught sight of Sephiroth, the sixth grade bully and his band of brothers: Kadaj, Loz and Kazoo. Cloud looked around frantically Vincent had gone, he was by himself, unless you counted Sora the cross-dressing kindergartener who was practicing his cosplaying in the distance.

"No one's here to save you white boy" Sephiroth laughed evilly. Cloud closed his little eyes tightly, when nothing happened the boy opened his eyes to see Sephiroth's face being ground into the concrete by his classmate and self proclaimed girlfriend, Tifa. Once finished, Tifa stepped down giving Sephiroth a few good kicks in the rib cage and making her way over to Cloud.

"I'm telling mother!" Kadaj yelled his eyes beginning to fill with tears, Sephiroth rose from the ground reluctantly.

"Until next time, White Boy." Sephiroth said turning slowly, his theme music picking up where it had left off. The four brothers strutted away fabulously.

"...Why do you let him treat you like that?" Tifa scolded.

"Like what?" Cloud asked his innocent eyes beaming.

"Hey!" Sora yelled, he had caught sight of the two first graders.

"And what the hell are you supposed to be?" Tifa asked the kindergartener, taking in his cosplay.

"I'm Amu Hinamori!" Sora chimed.

"Who…?" Tifa appeared to be getting irritated, Sora was taking up her alone time with her beloved Cloud.

* * *

"Sorry we're late Mr. Wallace." Tifa said as her and Cloud entered the classroom.

"WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CALLING ME BY MY NAME, FOOL!?" Mr. T Boomed.

"…sorry, Mr. T…" Tifa replied. Cloud and Tifa took their assigned seats across from Yuffie and Squall.

"Hi, Squall!" Cloud greeted, Squall looked at Cloud for a moment before looking away, smirking, he was too cool to respond.

* * *

After a couple hours of finger painting the class went out to recess, Cloud busted through the coatroom door happily stepping out into the sunlight, young Cloud looped around the corner to find Squall already leaning against the wall one leg bent.

"Hey, Squall!" Cloud began, Squall didn't look over. "Do you want to play ball with me and Tidus?" Cloud asked smiling. Squall continued to ignore young Cloud smirking to himself, because he was just THAT cool. Cloud blinked his big blue eyes at Squall a few more times before turning and walking away. When Cloud returned he found Mr. T standing in front of the door to the coatroom some of his class mates surrounding him.

"Mr. T, what do you want to be when you grow up?" Cloud's friend Reno asked.

"I AM GROWN UP, FOOL!" Mr. T yelled demonstrating his perpetual irritation.

"…then what DID you want to be?" Reno inquired. Mr. T's expression became softer.

"I…I didn't want to be a mean guy…" Mr. T began seeming to be upset. "I WANTED TO BE A DANCER!" Mr. T boomed.

"…you can still become one…" Tifa tried to reassure.

"SHUT UP, FOOL!" Mr. T snapped.

"…." Tifa and Reno sighed, walking away.

"Ready to play?" Tidus asked as Reno, Cloud and Tifa approached. Tidus' best friend Wakka then came up behind him placing his hand on his shoulder.

"I'm studying the disappearance of bells in this area." Wakka informed.

"…okay?" Tidus replied shrugging Wakka's hand off his shoulder. Everyone's eyes went wide when Sephiroth's menacing theme song began to play suddenly in the background.

"Playing with your balls again, Ball-Boy?" Sephiroth asked smirking. Kadaj, Loz and Kazoo began laughing. "Shut up." Sephiroth said flatly. The three boys immediately stopped laughing.

"Do I need kick your ass again?" Tifa asked glaring as she clung to Cloud's arm.

"I have no idea what's happening." Cloud said his blue eyes beaming, he really had no idea.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Sephiroth replied. "I have better things to do right now." Sephiroth said turning and walking away.

"I really hate that guy…" Tidus said.

"Believe in yourself!" a familiar voice could be heard in the distance. Everyone looked over to see Sora out in the feild. He was pretending to do Amu Hinamori's Amulet Diamond transformation.

"What the fuck is wrong with that kid?" Tifa asked.

"I think he looks coo." Cloud said smiling.

"He's dressed up like a ten year old girl from an anime, Cloud." Reno informed.

"He's so inspiring, though." Cloud replied. Everyone sighed and began walking away.

"…isn't that…Auron…?" Tifa said. "Cloud."

"huh?" Cloud hummed looking over to see his foster father on the other side of the fence, he appeared to be shit face drunk. Auron seemed to be walking strangely dragging one of his legs as he approached a small girl, it was Rikku the kindergartner.

"G-Get in the flask!" Auron snapped shoving his flask in her face, the girl squealed and an away.

"Dat guy" Cloud said shaking his head and looking up. Everyone only stared at Cloud.

* * *

After a seemingly endless day of finger painting school finally came to an end young Cloud sat on the front steps of the school for about two hours waiting for his ride before it dawned on him.

"What am I doing, Auron's not coming get me he can't even walk right now. " Cloud said smiling feeling a bit silly.

* * *

When Cloud arrived home he saw a katana smashed through the windshield of Auron's guy.

"Dat guy is so funny" Cloud said smiling and shaking his head. Cloud entered the house and made his way down the hall to Vincent's room. Cloud opened the door.

"What the fuck did I say about knocking before entering my fucking room?"Vincent said in his usual raspy manner.

"Sorry…" Cloud said looking down, Cloud looked back up TV screen, Vincent was watching porn, like always. "Vincent what are they doing?" Cloud asked. It was silent for a few moments.

"There're…playing…" Vincent replied.

"Okay!" Cloud said turning and leaving shutting the door behind him. Cloud headed to the living room, he was feeling sleepy. Cloud brushed the mass of empty Jack Daniel's bottled off the couch and crawled up, curling up. Cloud could hear the weather broadcaster on the television.

"IT'S COLD IN PHILADELPHIA!" The man yelled. Cloud closed his wittle eyes and drifted off into sleep.


End file.
